i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
