it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
