matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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