I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
