I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
