if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
