Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
