You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hippo gnu deer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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