..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
