I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
