What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
