Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I want is dick and wine.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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