Buhtt sex?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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