i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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