Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
