He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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