Dual....:-)
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
