I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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