for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
