What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
