i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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