is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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