video games are the ultimate cock blocker
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
