I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
