She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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