After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
