just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
