Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
