i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
