we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
