stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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