At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
