Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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