Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
