Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
