Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
