Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
