At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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