theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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