what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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