why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
