Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
