Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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