It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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