she woke up with a sticky ear
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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