i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
