yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
