The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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