awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
