you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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